Footsteps To Freedom

Have you ever wondered if you were losing your mind? Have you second-guessed yourself even though deep down you were right? Are you concerned that you don’t know who you are anymore, you don’t recognize the person looking back at you? Maybe you constantly feel angry, upset, and off your game.

Have you lost yourself? Do you feel like your boundaries have been crossed and your feelings are not considered?

Living like this is living in Hell! The emotional roller coaster from the constant gaslighting and love bombing. Living like this is exhausting and dangerous. It can be hazardous for the person who makes you feel this way because I learned that anger is an emotion; acting on that anger is a choice, and many people have acted on it. SAMSHA says, “Anger becomes a problem when it is felt too intensely, is deemed too frequently, or is expressed inappropriately. Feeling anger too considerably often places extreme physical strain on the body.”

But if you are living with a narcissist, this is your life!

“Narcissists have no boundaries. They feel entitled to say whatever they feel is true and litter their opinion, whether it’s rude, hurtful, or not true at all. They will then get angry when you defend yourself and blame you for causing drama”. (Narcissistic behaviors).

It does not matter how much you work on your relationship or your marriage; if you are involved with a narcissist, you are wasting your time. There is no end to the shenanigans they can come up with. They are notorious for blaming. They will never be wrong, and they will never care about you or your feelings. Everything is about them and them alone. They don’t care about you. They care about what you can do for them and how you can make them look good, but ironically, they use triangulation to turn people against you.

The mask will always slip off the face of a narcissist, and it will not be long after you start your relationship. They cannot stay stagnant for too long.

Narcissistic Truth quote: “When dealing with lairs and manipulators, we often find ourselves playing “detectives” This is your intuition telling you that something is deeply wrong with the individual you are investigating. For some reason, their actions never seem to match up with their words. They constantly make excuses and blame others, even though their stories never add up. You become lost in confusing conversations. You will look back and realize they were lying to your face.”

But let’s see how we can try to understand the mind of Narcissists. Why do narcissists act this way? The Mayo Clinic says that narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are unsure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.

The Mayo Clinic gives symptoms of narcissistic behaviors:

Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration. Do you know how exhausting it can be to have to give someone confirmation all day long about how wonderful, intelligent, loyal, and hardworking they are? And the minute you don’t let them know, you have a problem. I had a conversation with someone just like this. I was told that because this person works every day, is faithful, and pays bills, they should be rewarded with mind-blowing sex and accolades plastered on Facebook for all the world to see how wonderful he is. I am like, am I in the Twilight Zone? Aren’t you supposed to work, pay your bills, and be faithful?

Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment. Yes! I deserve a new suit, a new pair of tennis because I am such a good man/woman and so loving and giving. The list goes on and on.

• Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.
• Make achievements and talents seem more significant than they are.
• Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate.
• Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally unique people.
• Be critical of and look down on people they feel are unimportant.
• Expect special favors and others to do what they want without questioning them.
• Take advantage of others to get what they want.
• Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.
• Be envious of others and believe others envy them.
• Behave arrogantly, brag a lot, and come across as conceited.
• Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as criticism. They can:

• Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special recognition or treatment.
• Have significant problems interacting with others and quickly feel slighted.
• React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.
• Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.
• Experience significant problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.
• Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.
• Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.
• Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation, and fear of being exposed as a failure.

Being married or involved and trying to love a narcissist is the most time you will ever waste. The anger felt when dealing with someone like this can cause you so many problems. You never really feel one hundred percent. You become angry with yourself because you cannot believe you didn’t see the signs before now. But don’t be upset with yourself. Narcissists are very cunning and slick. They hide their strips very well. You don’t see it coming until it is too late. They cause havoc in your life; the more you ignore them, the worse they become.

Nothing drives them crazier than being ignored or not matching their energy. The sad thing about these types of people is that they are beyond help because they will never admit they need help. But they are incapable of change because they never believe they are wrong, and if you never think anything is wrong with your behavior, you will never grow to your full potential as a balanced individual.

Don’t waste your time and effort trying to love a narcissist; they will never see it as love. They will always need more than you can give them. They will always make you feel inferior and less than you. They will destroy your reputation and turn your family and friends against you. They lie and cheat. They will never be your person or the man/woman of your dreams unless your dreams are to cater to their every fantasy.

As a woman of God, I understand discernment. I understand revelation and clarity. I also know the power of prayer and how much God protects His children. I realize that 2024 is the year of exposure; everything that has been covered will be uncovered. Everything that is in the dark shall come to light. Every lie will be revealed, every snake that is examining you to swallow you whole will be killed, every deceiver that calls you their friend, and every lover that truly hates you will be shown. If you are not sure that you are in love or loving a narcissist, read the symptoms and signs and allow God to reveal them to you. Wait for revelation. I don’t rush God because His time is not my time. He moves when we are ready to receive what He has for us. He wants to prepare us because He already knows what impact these revelations will have on our lives afterward. Once you receive this revelation and find that your instincts are right and God’s word is accurate, run to your nearest exit!