We all want our relationships to work. After all, we get into relationships and get married to have a life partner. According to Brides.com, the primary reasons we get married come from several factors beyond love. There are legal and practical reasons (tax breaks, financial stability). Commitment to a solid relationship requires us to be honest, forthcoming, and open. Commitment requires us to build a solid foundation to overcome adversity. But none of this works without trustworthiness and honesty. We must be who we are and do what we say we will do if we want relationships and marriages to be strong. Of course, there will be obstacles and bumps in the road to longevity and solidarity. But working together can help this. But we must know our partners, be able to understand them, and be able to help them. And if you don’t feel my hurt, or when I am hurting, then you don’t know me at all. There is no connection to me if you don’t know my hurt. If you cannot feel my pain, who are we together? Who are we without being able to understand one another? Being with someone who cannot discern when we are hurting, angry, overwhelmed, or even sad makes a difference in a relationship. That is a significant obstacle in marriages.
RELATIONSHIPS
Just because we were in long-term relationships before does not mean we know what it takes to make a relationship work. What we did in our past relationships should not reflect on the present relationship. Please don’t misunderstand; it is good to learn from our past relationships, but we are now in another relationship, and we must respect the person we are with now! We must be honest about our scars and work on those things that are not healthy for us or others; before we venture into another relationship, we must be upright and transparent, for that allows us to make clear decisions. Being lied to in any relationship builds cracks in the very foundation.
WORK ON SELF
I think I say this a lot: life is short. I say this simply because it is true. I think a lot about time and how fleeting it is. I think of how God delivered me from situations and relationships that should have killed me. So excuse me if I don’t have a lot of time to waste on waiting. Waiting for people to grow up, show up, or do what they’re supposed to do. Trying to live a life on someone else schedule is not only exhausting, it is stupid. 1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man (woman), I put away childish things.” Therefore, I do not have time to raise boys posing as men. We have our purpose. And spending our time waiting and attempting to “help” some grown persons be real “grown people” is not something I am willing to do. And it should not be something you are eager to do either. Be a good person to your partner. Don’t be an emotional wreck trying to wait for someone to change because they aren’t going to change; what you see is what you will get. If our intuition works well, it is not hard to surmise when our relationships are going left. At first, we think we are just overreacting. But over time, we can feel it. I try not to mind reading or labeling people. I’m not particularly eager to make blanket statements about why people act as they do. Over the years and after some failed relationships, therapy, and soul searching, I can say that those signs played a significant part in the reason I stayed single for so long. No one likes to admit their relationship failed. No one wants to admit their lifetime was merely a season. Some of us stay, no matter how unhappy the relationship is. No judgment: people have reasons for their actions and decisions, and we cannot assume we know what is happening. We sometimes stay, hoping they will change, but all it does is change us to a point where we don’t even know who we are. We become confused and frustrated; we must make hard, scary, and painful decisions to find ourselves again. Do what you need to do to get well and stay well. But mostly so you can be the woman/man God purposed you to be. “I am not telling you it’s going to be easy; I am telling you it’s going to be worth it.”
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Footsteps To Freedom 
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