Footsteps To Freedom

This blog is called Footsteps to Freedom. It is a blog about freeing yourself and growing in grace to be the strong individual you were designed to be. In walking towards your freedom, you will discover many hills and valleys. But you must keep moving towards your freedom, no matter what! You must keep it moving and don’t look back! Think about all those people who had to get free and remember what they had to endure and lose to gain their freedom—the many trials and tribulations they took to have the right to be accessible as anyone else.

Becoming free crosses all barriers of color and creed. Becoming free can cost you a lot. But becoming free will always override staying complacent about materialistic things or money.

Freedom Fighters

Judy  Batalion’s “The Light of Days” meant to recount each act of bravery painstak­ing­ly and rebellion — one of the women refuses to wear a blindfold at her exe­cu­tion — makes it impor­tant addi­tion to the genre of Jew­ish history.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was the face of the US civil rights movement in the 1950s, making a seismic impact on race relations.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869–1948) was an Indian nationalist and politician who struggled for Indian self-determination and independence.

Bayard Rustin was an African-American leader in social movements for civil rights, socialism, nonviolence, and gay rights. Rustin worked in 1941 with A. Philip Randolph on the March on Washington Movement to press for an end to racial discrimination in the military and defense

Susan B. Anthony was an American social reformer and women’s rights activist who played a pivotal role in the women’s suffrage movement. And many, many more who fought for our freedom.

Elizabeth Freeman was also Mum Bett, the first formerly enslaved person to win a freedom suit in Massachusetts.

So many of these people have fought for our freedom and stepped in the footsteps of those before them. And now, here we are in the 21^st century, STILL fighting for our freedom!

It’s like walking in quicksand.

Learning to fight for my freedom came at a price. I did not do my work. I allowed my past and my pain to dictate my life for over 25 years. I accepted defeat. I allowed disrespect; the more I moved towards freedom, the less I felt free. Why? Because I was faking and wearing a mask. At eight years old, I was wearing a mask; as a teenager, I was wearing a mask; as a young lady, I was wearing a mask. I never knew who I was until I almost lost my life. Freedom comes at a price. It could be the price of your sanity. Being unaware of who you are makes you feel like you are walking in quicksand. It’s heavy, and it wears you out! It made me feel like giving up, but something kept pushing me toward the potential I set for myself.

Stay focused

When you are searching to be free, stay focused; no matter what happens, stay focused! I became wiser. Over the years, I learned so much about myself and others. People tend to be all you want them to be when attempting to be part of your life. We sometimes make that so easy for them because we never let them work to discover who we are and what we need. We talk too much! We tell them our favorite color, our favorite flower, our favorite movie, and so on. And guess what? They come by with your flowers, wearing your favorite color, and suggest we watch your favorite movie. And we were so impressed by all of this that we didn’t realize we were the ones who told them. Stay focused. We don’t see what is before us when we stop focusing.

The problem with staying focused when you are in a relationship is that love, lust, and sex muddy the waters. We lose focus because we are “in love.” Being focused in the beginning stages is difficult. Those who fought for our freedom stayed focused and determined to achieve their purpose. Some of them bled and died for freedom. I am not saying die for love (although some have).  I am saying stay focused so you can see when things shift. Stay focused so you can recognize when they start to move differently.

I remember the days leading up to my marriage. I was anxious and excited. I was finally marrying a man I had spent over seven years with. We fought, broke up, made up, and stayed in “love.” I don’t think he ever really loved me the way I loved him. He cared about me and ensured I wanted for nothing, but he did not always show love. But I was in love and “overlooked the red flags.” I stopped noticing he was moving differently.

I knew in the years of dating this man he would not be the man he was supposed to be in this marriage. I knew deep down this was not a healthy relationship. But it was my rendition of a healthy relationship because I normalized unhealthy. After all, it was all I knew. Even up until the day of our ceremony, I did not feel love. I felt a bond but not love.

He moved differently. He stopped showing physical love towards me. He didn’t look at me the same. He made excuses for staying at work. He stopped sharing the finances with me. He moved differently after about a year. In my heart, I knew he no longer loved me or even wanted to be with me. We started driving separate cars to church. We stopped having dinner dates with our married friends. He just wasn’t interested in me anymore.

One day, he just never came back. He left and never came back. It broke my heart, but it also gave me the power and strength to never rely on my definition of love again. It allowed me to put those shattered pieces of my heart together, albeit scarred, but another beautiful masterpiece. It was my Masterpiece, but God put me back together again. He repaired my heart with His definition of love. He stayed with me through all those many years of rebuilding my heart.

We are not foolish people. We are flawed and can be hopeless romantics, but we are not stupid. We are aware when we are in trouble with our relationships. We are given intuition and discernment. We KNOW!

I know the very day my husband started moving differently. I ignored those signs, and it cost me. But I am also grateful for the heartbreak because it allowed God to place me back on the Potter wheel and reshape, remold, and rejuvenate me to be the woman He purposed me to be.

Don’t ignore the signs. No matter how much you love them. Don’t ignore your intuition and the discernment God gifted you with. Get free from those who do not intend to care for your heart. Get free from those who want to use you until they find something better. Get free from those telling you subtly they are no longer in love with you. Get free!

I was with my husband for seven years before we married, and my marriage lasted one year. None of that would have happened. I could have gotten free long ago if I had stopped making excuses and accepted, he was moving differently.