Footsteps To Freedom

We all don’t celebrate the holiday season the same. There is Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza, to name a few. We all have our traditions for these holidays. Some families leave town. Some families have big holiday dinners and other traditions are learned and practiced through the years. My tradition is Christmas breakfast. We cook all the breakfast foods: pancakes, waffles, French toast, bacon, sausage and scrapple, fruits, mimosas, etc. We all come together in our Christmas pajamas, eat breakfast by the fireplace, and open gifts. It is something I’ve done with my immediate family for years. But everyone is not celebrating this year. Some people are mourning the loss of a loved one. Some are houseless, and others are simply at a loss of all the fuss about the holiday.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve listened to several people become angry and upset about the holidays. For one reason or another, they want it all to be over! They cite a lack of money, family discord, mental health problems, and substance abuse problems as some reasons for not wanting to participate in the festivities.   Tis the season! Yes, it is the season, but everyone is not feeling it! People seem to be angrier, meaner, and sadder than usual.

My client arrived for his monthly session. He is in a wheelchair. Before I could ask any questions, I saw his tear-stained face. He is an older gentleman and very humble. He tries to smile and says, “Ms. V, how are you? I tell him I am well and ask the same. He continues to smile, Oh, I’m good. He drops his head. His words do not meet what I am witnessing. I ask, how are you? He begins to cry. “I love the holidays, and I understand why it is a joyous occasion, but my grandchildren don’t understand yet. They are looking for toys and things, and I don’t have them. They give me joy all year long. Most days, they are my reason to even get up and sit in this god-forsaken wheelchair and try to be happy. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful because I could have been dead with no legs, but I’m not. It’s just that every grandpa wants to see their grandchildren’s face light up on Christmas day and see gifts under the tree”. He tries to compose himself but cannot. I gave him a tissue and sat quietly. He continues, “You know, I just want to see a smile on their face, Ms. V, to hear the squeals of excitement.”. I nod in understanding. I am a grandmother, so I understand. I ask him if he cooks. He nods yes. I ask him is there money for small gifts and such. He says, there is not a lot, “but they don’t want a lot. Just doll babies, LED lights, and coloring books”. I smile and say to him. Well, you know, my other job is having a toy drive, and I will see what I can give you for your grandchildren. His face lights up. “People still do that. I mean, have toy drives”? I nod yes, sir. He asks, why did you ask if I can cook?” I tell him, well, you can bake some cookies, make some hot chocolate, and find a good Christmas story, or make one up and start a tradition for your grandchildren. It seems to me, over the years, my grandchildren always liked that and looked forward to that the most, maybe even more than gifts under the tree”. He smiles and says, “Well, I do have food stamps, and I can bake cookies, and I’ve lived a few years, so I can always find a good story.” I smile, and he smiles. “Merry Christmas, Ms. V.”

Over the next few weeks, I hear similar stories, some good, some bad, some devastating. People say they are living in motels with their entire family in one room, their loved ones returning from jail or prison and continuing the destructive behaviors that got them detained in the first place.

Yesterday, my client, who has always seemed to have bible study with me for her sessions, became irate and angry. I am surprised because it’s odd to see her this way. Nonetheless, I invited her to sit. “I don’t wanna sit down, I am so damn tired of this holiday mess! It’s all commercialized and wild! People are running around spending all this money for one damn day! It’s stupid! I am observing her and watching her body language. Although she is saying these words, her face shows hurt and pain. Her eyes are sad. She finally sits in the chair. “What happened to the reason for the season? How come nobody cares about that anymore? How come it always has to be about money? Don’t people know it’s not about that”? I ask if there is something else going on. She looks at me and says, “I don’t have any family to celebrate with. My momma is gone; I can’t make it through the holiday without her. I need her to be here with me”.

I understand these words fully. My momma is gone as well, and I feel her absence every day. There is no more shopping at Boscov’s for housecoats and nightgowns for her. No more Royal Farms chicken or Subway. No more trips to the thrift store or Walmart. I fully understand. I say to her. Do you have a daughter and a brother? She nods yes. I explained that this was the family she had left to spend the holiday with. To spend time making memories and enjoying one another. I asked if she could invite her brother for dinner and exchange a small gift. I remind her of her story of how her mother loved family traditions and holidays, and maybe she could celebrate her life by continuing the family tradition. She does not agree or disagree but will “think about it.”

After some long days and countless sessions, I realize that between the sprinkles of happiness and excitement for the holidays, there is a loss of hope and faith in humanity. I pray and ask God how to help those less fortunate than me.

He answers to tell people about Grace: “Grace is the basis for the Christian faith. We believe we are saved by faith through grace. God’s grace is usually defined as undeserved favor. Grace cannot be earned; it is something that is freely given. We count on God’s grace and the bridge he built in our relationship with Him”.

He answered I tell them about underserved favor- When was the last time you received something just because someone wanted to give it to you? Usually, when someone gives us something, there is a hidden string somewhere. But to be given something to let you know how much I love you, how much I want you to have a relationship with Me?

I say to him God, there are so many denominations of Christianity and spirituality and religion. He answers, “BUT ONE GOD!”

Tell them about HOPE daughter- the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength in His faithfulness.

In the times we are living now, we must have something to hold on to. Something that will show us we are going to be alright. Looking at this world from a human perspective scares people. Looking at this world from a human perspective causes anxiety, depression, and oppression. But when we look at this world through the eyes of God, we see that one day, everything will be alright. Everything will be okay no matter what it looks like or seems like.

So I say to you all. No matter what God you serve, what denomination, or even what you call Him, have hope and faith that He will come through like pure Gold! Don’t let go of your faith and hope in Him. Don’t allow this world and all its ugliness enable you to forget how blessed and favored you are. Count your many blessings and be grateful for what you have—understanding that the things you have and possess are things that others are praying to have in their lives. And finally, remember family is not always blood. Families are the people who love you unconditionally and without judgment. Be encouraged and know that whatever negative thing costs you, your peace is not permanent. This, too, shall pass!