Footsteps To Freedom

The definition of a manifesto is a written statement declaring publicly its issuer’s intentions, motives, or views. Writing my manifesto helped me get clarity. It helped me become clear and free from a lot of things that I thought I conquered in the past.

I am done tolerating Deflection– Dictionary.com defines deflection as something that happens when we redirect the focus, blame, or criticism away from ourselves to preserve our self-image and avoid dealing with negative consequences. It is used as a reactive coping mechanism to avoid feeling guilt or shame or as a narcissistic abuse tactic to avoid accountability. I am done tolerating that. It does nothing to elevate me. It does nothing to allow me to grow. I only react negatively when deflection comes into play. I cannot do that anymore.

I tolerated this behavior in the past because– I was waiting for him to change. There will be none when people do not recognize they need to change. Over time, if we are wise, we move on and stop wasting time.  

What I learned from this behavior was stress. “Stress is a mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.” I suffer from stress all the time. My career is very stressful. I deal with people’s lives every day. That’s enough for me. To have to live a life of stress because of deflection and waiting for someone to change feels like a death sentence. I very slow death sentence that stress will speed up.

I am afraid of this because stress can kill!

Releasing this fear will allow me to grow.

I promise to honor my integrity by staying true to myself. Some people think that being selfish is negative. But I disagree. Being selfish frees us from doing things we don’t want to do. Being selfish allows us to say no with no regret. Being selfish takes away all the excuses as to why we cannot do what we do not do in the first place. I must stay true to myself,

I am ready to reclaim the power that I gave away by simply taking it.

I commit to being true to myself.

I forgive myself for not trusting my gut. My momma used to say, always trust your gut, it will never lie. I didn’t trust my gut and I lost myself. Nobody is worth you, losing you! But when we don’t know who we are we latch on to other people and things to make us feel relevant. We want to be a part of something, anything! So, we morph into what others want us to be. I lost myself a long time ago. For years I floated around mimicking my sisters and my friends, but I was never those people. I felt it and I knew it, but I also knew if I let go and stopped, I would be lost. Once I forgave myself, I got free.

I am worthy of happiness, joy, and peace of mind.  Hell, we all are!

I am ready for my NEXT!!!!!!!

I give myself permission to let go. Let go of hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Let go of molding myself to everyone else’s shape and definition of me, Let go of other people’s opinions of me and loving me for me.

I own my truths– for the truth shall make you free! Our truths define who we are and what we have learned over time in our lives. Our truths do not have to make sense to anyone but us. It allows us to own who we are, what we are, and what we have become.

I love who I have become. I’ve become a woman that I never thought I could. I have become someone that I can be proud of. I have become someone I don’t have to second guess anymore. This happens when we try to satisfy everyone and fit into lives that others think we should have. I do not do that anymore. I learned to be free and just live the life that I feel comfortable with. Everyone will not agree with it and that’s fine. Loving the person, you have become liberates you.

The relationship I admire the most is the relationship I have with God. Once I realized how much my faith in my God meant to my wellbeing I could exhale.

What I admire about this relationship is I realize I am never alone. I’ve been in so many meaningless relationships and even being in the same room with these people, I felt alone. They never knew me for me and only loved me for what they could get from me. I was alone. I was in love, alone, I was happy, alone, I was in a relationship that was actually a situation ship.

When I wrote this manifesto, I asked myself what anyone may get from it. At first, I felt no one would care. But sometimes getting free requires us to look from the outside. Look at how other people are living their lives and examine if you are the only one going through some things. Once you see that people go through things in their lives silently. They never let anyone in, and they place a mask over their face and move on in their lives as if things are fine. But when writing this manifesto, it allowed me to tell the truth.

I am learning never to settle for less than the very best! I deserve the very best. Do you?