Footsteps To Freedom

For those who think my mind in stuck on stupid, get over yourself! For those who think I am alone because I am waiting for them, please!!!!!! For those who think they are over me, yeah right! For those who think they can blame me for their foolishness, you can, but I will not take the blame. For those who thought disrespecting me would keep me sad and angry, NOT! And finally, for those who think they can hide behind the mantra I AM FINE, I AM GREAT line, look in mirror and see who really has the problem. Because I am who I am! I must forgive you but make no mistake, I do not have to reconcile with you. I used to be you! And one day with a lot of prayer and repentance and God’s grace and favor! You will be ME!

I wrote this October 2012. I had not yet started my journey into finding who I was. I was still angry and still bitter and still hurt by the betrayal. I knew he was trolling my page and reading my posts, so I wrote it there for him to see. I do not remember what transpired for me to write that, but I know I wanted to choke and slap him upside his head and yell from the rafters. But then my friend responded to the post and said “continue your path to glory. It is a million trips along the way, and you tripped but never fell. You got your mind right now even the biggest rock in your way cannot stop you. Congratulations on your newfound peace of mind. You are a true role model for people, men and women alike.”

That post settled me down because it was true. I had found my true peace and was operating in it. I just lost my focus for a minute. But over time I understood why. I allowed this person to pull me out of character, but did I really allow it, or just did what I knew, all I knew? It was all I knew but not anymore.

For a moment, I acted out of character. But then I remembered whose I was. I realized that the person who was holding my power at the time, should not have it because I am a child of the Highest God, and He gave me the power to overcome giants. Meaning any obstacle, any devil in hell! God told me to Go to the mountain that was higher than I and seek His face for strength. I lost my way for a minute but NO MORE!

In that small space, I learned that no one is capable to taking your power away. They can alter your thought process and cause an upset. But do not worry about it. Remember how proud of yourself, striving to do better and be better and move into your purpose. No matter what your past looked like, no matter how many times you landed on your butt, GET UP, DUST YOURSELF OFF and declare that you will NO LONGER DO YOU, BUT DO WHAT SAYETH THE LORD! Your plans are meaningless if God has not planned them. He already knows what you are capable of, what you have inside of you to do GREAT THINGS. He made you in His image. Move in your purpose. No person is worth losing favor with God.

The person that pulled me out of my character that day, called later in the month and said “I treated you badly and I took you for granted, you were good to me, and I pushed you away and for that I am sorry. Can you forgive me?”  I wanted to say, “why did you see my worth after you hurt me, after you broke my heart,” but I did not. I just forgave him. Not for him but for myself. I am glad I was able to forgive me, He died 2 years later.