Footsteps To Freedom

One day you will look at yourself and see you! Not what people said you were, not the way society perceived you. But you! And when you really see yourself and understand why you are here, things will become lighter and more liberating. And you will feel much better about your own personal universe.

When I listen to people in my craft, I spend time hearing things not spoken. Only 7% of communication is verbal the other 93% is no verbal. We are taught to listen carefully and observe the body language to be able to ascertain the true meaning behind their words. Over time, I wished that I had that craft earlier in my life. It may have saved me from disappointment and heartache. 

Think about it. We hear what people are saying to us and we take them at their word. But sometimes these words are smoke screens to get our attention, tell us what we want to hear, lure us into a situation that is not healthy for us. I have always said it is good to date and not hook up or even have a situation ship. We must learn the people we want to have a relationship with. I do not care if you have known them all their lives if you have never been in a relationship with them or knew them at another time in your life stop and take the time to know them all over again.

Dating gives us the opportunity to talk about various aspects of life, expectations, and requirements for a healthy happy relationship. Thinking someone is the same person they were years before is foolish! Over the years people have experiences and those experiences change that person’s outlook on life. People become better people and some people become bitter and angry.

It is better to date and take our time than to be in a relationship because we are lonely, or our biological clock is ticking. I understand we are in a society where everyone wants things immediately. No one is willing to wait for the paint to dry. They want it now. That’ fine if your heart is not involved. Matters of the heart take time and patience.

Have you ever heard the statement “Haste makes waste?” It is true. Every time people rush through things, other important things get lost.

We can lose our sense of purpose, our self-respect and even our self-worth.

When I was eighteen, I had a baby. I was able to graduate and find a little apartment to live in with my son after high school. At eighteen, I thought I am legal, and I can do what I want to do, and things will be good. But I was in a relationship with a person I never dated. I met on bus one night coming home from hanging out with my friends. He was cute and dressed nicely and he paid attention to me. Of all the females that bus, he paid attention to me. We became quick friends and quicker lovers. I knew little about him except his age and his name and where he was going on that night. But I never really got to know him or even where he came from. I had no idea he had an alcohol problem or a problem with his hands. I did not know he was a womanizer and untrustworthy. I didn’t know he did not care about my feelings or my heart. I knew nothing about this man that I gave myself to and have a baby with.

I didn’t date this man. I didn’t know this man. And for that. I spent years in an abusive, unhealthy relationship that turned my life upside down. But in all of that, I still thank him. Because of my relationship with a person I did really know, I learned to know who I was.