Footsteps To Freedom

I just read a quote “Listen and Silent, is spelled the same way. Think about that for a moment”. Wow! That is the truth. It makes sense. I tell my clients all the time, you cannot talk and listen at the same time. It does not work. God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Why do we talk so much?

The most essential element of my profession is listening. For hours at a time, I must have discipline to listen to my clients. In doing so, I learn about their fears, insecurities, and accomplishments. They can talk to me because we have established trust in one another. They are willing to be open to me and share things that burden them and keep them in the cycle of active addiction. I can give them encouragement and suggestions to help them slow or stop the cycle of active addiction. None of this could happen unless we both listen and be silent.

Learning to be silent and listen is an art. It takes time to develop. I learned how to listen and be silent when my I became a mother. I was only eighteen years old, and I did not know a thing about being a mom. My mother helped me with my son. I would sit on the edge of the bed looking scared and confused. My mother would come in my room and sit with me. She would say. You must learn how to pray and ask for help if you want to be a good mother. I looked at her, more confused. She smiled and said, the key to learning how to be a good mother or even a good person, is to get to know God for yourself and then give everything to Him. You do this by praying. You must be quiet once you pray and listen for God to answer the prayer. It does not do any of us any good to pray for something and not be quiet enough to hear His answer.

Over the years, before my healing process, I would fill my life with noise because the silence was too loud. I would have all these people over my house and there would be alcohol and weed and music. We would sit around until the wee hours of the night just making noise. When everyone went home, and I was alone. The silence became unbearable. But I had to listen to it because in that silence, I could hear what I needed to, to help me.

I learned that silence and being quiet has benefits. According to the Cleveland clinic. Quiet time is healthy for the mind and body. It can lower blood pressure, decrease heart rates, steady breathing, reduce muscle tension, and increase focus and cognition. Silence encourages mindfulness. Silence can set the stage for mindfulness, which has a range of mental health benefits: self-awareness, relieves stress, helps with information processing, and boosts creativity.

Before mindfulness and mental health became a thing, my mother knew the importance of silence. She also knew the benefits of listening. For my mother, her prayer life is what kept her through the tough times in her life. She disciplined herself to pray and listen and stay silent until she received what she needed from God.

Listening also have benefits. I was scared when I was in a dark place. I did not want to listen because I did not want to know if I was failing in my life. I did not want to know that whatever negative things people were saying about me because I did not want to internalize them and make them my truths. But I learned over the years, listening has benefits: “It creates a feeling of respect, connection and goodwill in personal and professional relationships.”

I am older and wiser now. I am not that eighteen-year-old young mother who was confused and afraid of listening or being silent. I listen for a living. I learned being quiet helps me to decipher what people are really saying to me. God has given me a gift of discernment. This comes with listening and staying quiet. I can read people more and understand their motives in my life. That can be hurtful, but truth is truth and I live it every day. When I do not want to be remain quiet, I pray first and ask for guidance. And I do not speak on what I have prayed about until I hear from God. Silence and listening have been a benefit for me. It was essential when I was going through the healing process. I had to be quiet. I spent years thinking I knew what was best for me but at the end of the day, those things I thought I knew, needed to be un-learned. Those life lessons from my darkness would not and could not benefit me while walking in my newness.

Please understand this is a slow and necessary walk and things are going to fall off in this process. Be strong enough to listen and be silent.