Footsteps To Freedom

I watched my son suffer through alcohol and drug addiction for over 20 years. As a parent I wanted the best for all my children. I wanted them to be self-sufficient and successful in whatever field they chose to thrive in. My son went to school and graduated high school. As a child he witnessed his mother’s abusive relationship with his father. He endured the lack of love from his stepfather, and he learned skills that allowed him to be self-sufficient from my second husband. He was a good big brother, always looking out for his two younger sisters. He protected me too. He spoke up when the men in my life thought they were running things in my life. He let them know that if I shed a tear, so would they. He let them know, if I hurt, they would hurt. I watched my son spiral out of control and as much as I wanted to save him, I could not. My son endured so much pain. The loss of his two best friends, the loss of his favorite cousin, the loss of his high school friend and the loss of his freedom for 8 years. I cannot imagine the inner turmoil he experienced. And through it all, drugs and alcohol played its part. My son was my hero and when his addiction became what seemed like a life sentence in hell, I was his hero. I stood by my son in his addiction not because I had to, it was because I needed to! I needed to be the one he could come to no matter what. I had to be the one that did not give up on him. I loss my freedom those eight years he was incarcerated because I was locked up with him. I cried myself to sleep many nights when my son was in prison. But God’s grace and mercy was enough to get us through it. 

There are many things that we must become free from. Guilt, shame, addiction, and abuse. My son was bound for years and years. He experienced great loss and missed opportunities to be happy and free because of his addiction. The same way we do when we are locked in abusive relationships. His abuser was alcohol and heroin, my abuser was sexual abuse, intimate partner abuse and depression. They all look the same at some point.

My son is in recovery now. He has been free from addiction for fourteen months. I am grateful! Now you may wonder why I wrote about my son’s addiction and redemption. Because he is free!

I found the best way to be there for someone who is still bound is to BE THERE. Don’t give up on them because they are not moving fast enough. Don’t give up on them because they cannot see what we see. Don’t give up on them because it seems they don’t care if they survive or not. Don’t give up on them, even if they have given up on themselves.

Be patient with yourselves. It is going to take tie for you all to realize that YOU ARE GOING TO SURVIVE! Those people in your life have been telling you for so long that you won’t but you will! No matter where you are in our life right now remember it can always get better, be better and become better, but you must start living instead of existing. GET UP! Get moving, get motivated and start living! I did it, my son did it and so can you!