Footsteps To Freedom

Asia, 22 years old-beaten with a shovel, stabbed, and murdered by her boyfriend. Her friends cautioned her about this young man, but Asia loved him so much. She ignored the red flags

Alexis 21, sexually assaulted and murdered by her best friend and her boyfriend. Her real friend told Alexis for 3 years not to trust her roommate, but Alexis had a heart for people, and she cared but she ignored the red flags.

 Jho lie Moussa, sixteen murdered by her boyfriend, all missed the red flags.

When you are a person who have the need to control everything in your relationship, you are operating out of fear, and you are functioning in fear because trying to manage every single aspect of a relationship is functioning in fear. People believe that abuse and intimate partner violence is about hitting. But it is more about control. It starts out with charisma and charm. They love you and give you gifts to make you feel safe and beautiful. But it is all a set-up. Those are the red flags of which I am speaking. When he gets angry about you being with your family, RED FLAG. When he calls you incessantly, insecurity and RED FLAG, when he criticizes your hair, clothing and calls you names, RED FLAGS. He sees you becoming indecisive and unsure. He begins to poke at your self-esteem and put you down. And finally, the pushes and shoves start. By the time you see the RED FLAGS they are blinding you and you cannot see anything in front of you.

 These young women were vibrant and smart! They have family and friends who loved them. They had dreams and hopes like all young people. But they allowed these men to suck the life out of them. Take away their sense of self. Not on purpose though. I am sure these women felt a shift in the relationship, felt the wind of the RED FLAGS blowing but ignored them because although they felt the shift, they continued to believe these men loved them at least to a degree. And therefore, they stayed and lost their lives in the process.

These young ladies were beautiful and vibrate and I am sure they would have been productive and successful young ladies, but when others try and manage every single aspect of a relationship and lose the ability to manage, people die by the hands of someone who had no right, rhyme, or reason.

Never let a man stand between you and how you think. You could lose your life.