Footsteps To Freedom

According to the Addiction Center, “nearly 80% of domestic violence crimes are related to the use of drugs. When a person abuses drugs, the chemicals in their brain are rewired to seek out the substance, despite any future consequences of their behavior. This can result in irrational, violent or controlling behavior within the relationship.

Addiction and domestic violence share several characteristics, such as:

A loss of control

Continued behavior despite negative consequences

Addiction and abuse tend to worsen over time

Both conditions involve denial or shame

The risk of domestic violence increases when both parties have a substance abuse disorder. It may become difficult, if under the influence, for the victim to determine how much danger they are actually in. He or she will likely have a difficult time defending themselves against a partner’s attack or being able to call for help. Domestic abuse becomes a vicious cycle, as the abuse victim may be unwilling to report the attack for fear that their partner will physically, emotionally, or financially retaliate. If left untreated, domestic abuse can continue to perpetuate an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship that can have severe consequences.”

Therefore, we must treat both problems. The addiction and the domestic violence. It is likely that abusers will say they abused their partners because they were drunk or under the influence. Although drugs can exacerbate the abuse, it is not the only reason perpetrators use violence. They have a desire and a need to control, telling the victim they can’t do anything right, dictating how the victim dresses and wears their hair. They continue to discourage the victim from seeking friends or family members. This is on the biggest reasons women and men stay in their abusive relationship. After being isolated from their families they are not sure they can go back home. Or they fear that their abuser will harm their family members if they help. Perpetrators like to prevent the victim from making their own decisions. They intimidate their victims and often threaten them if they try to leave or seek help. They use shame or embarrass the victim, keep them from going anywhere or telling them where they can go and when the need to return.

People who abuse substances and alcohol do not care about the consequences of their actions any more than the abusers care about their actions. They can always say they were under the influence and did not know what they were doing. Jamie Foxx said it best “Blame it on the Alcohol”. Sadly, we cannot blame on the alcohol. We must take responsibility for our actions and get the help we need to become responsible adults. Admitting we need help and seeking help for our addiction is the first thing we need to do. We must also seek help for intimate partner abuse. Admit we need help and find the catalyst for our behavior so we can become better partners for those we love.