Footsteps To Freedom

I do not care how many times someone tells you they love you, if they continue to berate and demean you, walk away. Love is not always enough. It does not matter how many designer bags and shoes he buys you; if he does not respect you, saying he loves you, is not enough. There are people who do not own any designer bags or shoes, but the love is real. People use the word “love” so freely and easily. We get all giddy because some person told us they love us. We think they are the one, the one that will make our lives complete. Sometimes loves is not enough. People forget that love is an action word. You must show me you love me! Being in my corner at my worst and still wanting me. Understanding my love language and what makes me laugh and cry shows me love.

I was in a relationship with a man years ago. We thought we were in love. We thought we knew what each of us wanted and needed in a relationship. We decided were going to get married and build a home. But something was nagging at my soul. I could not put my finger on it but deep down I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wanted to ask him was he serious about us and did he really want to marry me and build a home and life with me, and he continued to say yes, because I love you. But he did not love me. He loved the idea of love. After months I realized he had no idea what love was at least not with me.

He was a fixer always looking for a project. Once the project was standing tall on her own, he would move on, without me. You see, this person was incapable of loving me because he did not love himself. He swept me off my feet and made me dinner and brought me clothes and shoes, gave me money to get my hair done and paid my bills. But he did not love me. He walked away without a thought. Without an explanation, without an I am sorry. Just walked away. Sometimes love is not enough, especially if you are incapable of loving yourself.

It is easy for someone to be manipulated when we do not love ourselves, we will accept anything that looks close to love. Buying things and giving me money looked like love. Laughing at my jokes and telling me I was beautiful looked like love. But it was not! If we do not love ourselves, we will never experience real love. My father told me on this on his death bed “when someone loves you from the inside out you will never experience a broken heart” I did not understand it then, but I do now. Loving from the inside out allows us to see others as God sees them; with compassion, understanding and unconditional love. When we love like that, love is enough!