Footsteps To Freedom

“make peace with your broken pieces”

The inability to change behaviors is the catalyst for disaster. The unwillingness to say “I am wrong, I was wrong” keeps me bound to negative outcomes. If I am not capable of hearing, I am not capable of learning, and if I am not capable of learning, I am not capable of changing. And if I am not capable of changing, I am not capable of growing.  It’s like being in a relationship with a narcissist. They are incapable of change because they never believe they are wrong. It is like walking a tightrope. Our nerves are frazzled, our patience is as thin as the rope, but we must keep going because there is nothing to catch us if we fall. We stay, we love, we adjust but we don’t change. The behaviors remain the same. We desire for them to hear us, see things our way, listen! But no, nothing changes. It sounds cliché but nothing changes if nothing changes. If we are waiting for things to happen without change, we will be waiting forever. We stay too long in bad relationships waiting for the other person to change. We accept disrespect and dishonor waiting for the other person to change. We lose a piece of ourselves each time the situation remains the same. By the time we realize it’s time to go. We have given just about all our pieces away. Change is important for our health and sometimes for our sanity. I stayed in an abusive relationship for years waiting for him to change. Each time he punched me he promised to change. For every black eye, bruised rib, busted lip, he promised to change. Each time he apologized but the behavior did not change. The inability to change the behavior was the catalyst for disaster. My behavior did not change either. I stayed! Hoping and wishing this time it would be different. But it never was. After 27 stitches, and a few more black eyes, I decided I could no longer wait for him to change, I had to change or die waiting for behaviors to change.

Sometimes we must walk away. Changed behaviors come with soul searching and holding ourselves accountable for our actions. This will only come when we accept that we are not perfect, and we have flaws and can use an adjustment in some areas of our lives. My soul searching allowed me to seek the real reason I accepted the abuse. In changing my behavior, I was able to hold myself accountable and make peace with my broken pieces.